PNW Post Adoption Resources: Parenting a Child with Trauma

The Aces Study

What is ACES (Adverse Childhood Experience Study)?

http ://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy /

Five are personal

u physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect

Five are related to other family members

u a parent who’s an alcoholic, a mother who’s a victim of domestic violence, a family member in jail, a family member diagnosed with a mental illness, and the disappearance of a parent through divorce, death or abandonment.

Each type of trauma counts as one.

Resilience

1. They believed their mother loved them when they were little.

2. They believed their father loved them when they were little.

3. When they were little, other people helped there parent(s) take care of them and they seemed to love them.

4. When they were an infant someone in their life enjoyed playing with them, and they enjoyed it, too.

5. When they were a child, there were people in their life who made them feel better when they were sad or worried.

6. When they were a child, neighbors or friends’ parents seemed to like them.

7. When they were a child, teachers, coaches, youth leaders or ministers were there to help them.

8. Someone in they were life cared about how they were doing in school.

9. Their family, neighbors and friends talked often about making their lives better.

10. They had rules in their house and were expected to keep them.

11. When they felt really bad, they could almost always find someone they trusted to talk to.

12. As a youth, people noticed that they were capable and could get things done.

13. They are independent and a go-getter.

14. They believe life is what you make it

What the experts say: https ://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/healthy-foster-care-america/Documents/FamilyHandout.pdf

Have a routine so they know what to expect-life is predictable.

Give your child a sense of control. Give simple choices. Respect your child’s decisions

Do not take your child’s behaviors personally.

Try to stay calm. Find ways to respond to outbursts that do not make things worse.

Lower your voice.

Do not yell or show aggression.

Do not stare or look directly at your child for too long. Some children see this as a threat

When your child keeps you at a distance, stay available and responsive

The ACES Study

https://www.aap.org/en-us/Documents/ttb_aces_consequences.pdf

The brain is not structurally complete at birth

Among other things, optimal development of the neuroendocrine system (mechanism the body uses to regulating reproduction, metabolism, eating and drinking behavior, energy utilization, and blood pressure.) is dependent on adequate nutrition and absence of toxins like lead, mercury, alcohol, other drugs, and toxic stress.

Structural development is guided by environmental cues

Proper structural growth depends on a nurturing, loving, and stimulating environment, one that prepares the child for future circumstances.

Effective stimulation requires interaction with other people

Other people must be present, attentive enough, and consistent or predictable enough to teach the lessons the developing brain needs. Stimulation from television, smartphones, or tablets does not replace interaction with people.

Play Laughter Joy Brings…..

Develops attachment

Stimulates executive functioning (the brain)

Decreases impulsive

Increases focus

Increases organization

Increases Generalization

Self-Control

Increases short term memory

Parent Directed Play

Balloons

Bubbles